Synastry 101: Where to Get + How to Read a Synastry Chart (but, like, not well, ok?)

If you’ve been following along, you know I’ve been learning all about Eclipses and the Vertex point in astrology. ☺️✨

But to really get that snap-crackle-pop epiphany from analyzing the Vertex, you might need to do a little SYNASTRY > combining your and someone else’s chart (or the chart of an event or place) to see how fate, or all the rest of the solar system, intersects with your relationship. 👐🏻✨

And to cast someone else’s chart, you need their birth date, time, and location. 💫

This can get weird if you don’t know the person.

Like—you can’t do a proper synastry reading unless you know the person enough-ish to guess-timate their birth data, based on about two years’ worth of idle coffeeshop chitchat.

(And eavesdropping. 💁🏻‍♀️) 

lemme guide you through my synastry discovery process ✨, deployed to explain and further interiorize my weird eclipse moment where my vertex was activated at the exact second i was looking into someone’s eyes 🌗⚡️, and then basically the next day he yelled me out of the cafe…

…but like Lorelei and Luke in Gilmore Girls, I will not quit getting my coffee there until either the barista admits he’s an asshole or Rory graduates from Yale. 🦋✨

Just FYI > synastry is basically reading a natal chart x 2, then adding up the math the two charts make together. 

In other words, it takes a crazy fucking long time to accomplish, so tip your astrologer. 💸

ALSO, and this might just be me > most of the reference material on synastry feels hella dubious, and therefore very frustrating to apply—like, oversimplified, piecemeal, cookbook interpretations for “Venus in Libra” and “Your Mars is too confrontational if it shows up in any of these Houses on your partner’s chart”, and it’s basically impossible trying to combine all of that nonsense into a cohesive picture.

Which might actually indicate that I am definitely am amateur at synastry (+ human relating in general).

My main reference on what I’m about to pass off as synastry comes from Stephen Arroyo’s Person to Person Astrology, which is about 400 pages, and gets hella dramatic trying to emphasize having a strong understanding of the elements and modes in astrology, because the knowing the energy signatures of all the Sign-House-Aspect combinations helps you build the ability to visualize or intuit the true dynamic of a relationship (I guess). 

SO, FULL DISCLOSURE > what I’m about to teach you… is mostly garbage. 💫

but, i will show you (some semblance of) a step-by-step guide to synastry, regardless of my qualifications to do so…

…and i will mostly be focusing on karmic and erotic points between mine + the barista’s (hypothetical) synastry chart…

…and mostly in reference to my own morbid curiosity about the eclipse. 👻🔎

I’m mostly after his Vertex (+ Uranus 😉).

And maybe he’s after my Chiron (+ Neptune-Moon). 🤔☺️

And PERHAPS, all the intel I learn from his transit chart (+ after calibrating for the incompatibilities in our synastry), I will be able to finally ask him, “Hey man, did you see a blue flash in my eyes hella days ago, back in June, an Eclipse might’ve tripped your Nodes…?”

Annnnnd maybe by September the little dog that lives in his car will finally get walked! 🤩🙌🏻💫

THINGS… 

ARE… 

HAPPENING!

(Until December 4th when the Eclipse set closes out > have you been following along?? 😬)

WHAT IS A SYNASTRY CHART?

…OR BASICALLY, HOW DO WE “DO” RELATIONSHIP ASTROLOGY?

“The truth is that having a partner is, more often than not, going to bring up your problems and ‘issues’ as they have never been brought up before. Polarities force us to articulate in the outer world what may have been, previously, merely internal conflict, conscious or unconscious. The ‘two’ moves out from the ‘one.’ Partnerships are a natural mirror to our inner selves. On the whole, those inner selves are not balanced. That’s what the struggle of partnership is for.”

(Source)

A synastry chart is where one natal chart overlays another, lining up the Signs, so that we can read for the Houses and Planets between two people.

Or basically, where and how two people will influence each other, and the roles they’ll take on.

So, basically, to make a synastry chart > we’d combine our natal charts by aligning our Aries ♈️, Taurus ♉️, Gemini ♊️, et. al., and then we’d “read” the points of contact between the two charts, or basically wherever a planet or point or angle touches (or comes within close orbit of) a planet, point, or angle in the other chart. 💫

Having an understanding of each natal chart on its own is helpful, because you understand where each chart holder is at on their astrological cycles (see Barbara Hand Clow), as well as their personal needs and desires.

Then, with the synastry chart, you’d be reading to see how foreign elements from another chart intermix with that individual chart.

Because you’ve aligned the charts according to Signs, you can see how you both use and exchange this type of energy (the Sign’s vibe).

To understand where this energy (+ dynamic) plays out, you’d compare the Houses, which most often, won’t be the same.

Whose planets land in which Houses explains the type of dynamic you’ll have, and the kind of contexts / environments it’ll play out it >

“House overlays go two ways. If my Sun overlays your sixth house, for example, you will view me as useful. If my Sun interacts with your planets in a generally challenging way, you may ultimately consider me to be counter-productive or meddling. I awaken sixth house issues in you. You may feel somewhat dependent on me in the areas of routines, work, and everyday issues, especially since the Sun is a positive, yang energy, and the sixth house has a yin, receptive energy. You receive, and I give, which can set up a co-dependent relationship if other factors in the synastry between us support this.”

(Source)

Obviously, you’re going to need a working understanding of the Planets, Signs, + Houses, even if all the details and possible combos still elude you, just to be able to visualize or intuit how all these different players and elements will interact in the contexts indicated.

HEADS UP > this post helps you learn to read a natal chart, and also links you everywhere you can go to learn more.

Obviously, the amount of intel that might be gathered between two charts can be a lot, and, like—which info actually matters? 😬

Welp, that depends on the questions you’ve brought to the synastry chart, or the type of information you’re hoping to glean about your relationship potential, or about the quality of condition of a relationship you’re already in.

some questions you can ask in a synastry reading…

• Where + how are we “compatible”? Sex, domestic, business or parenting? How might it feel, what can I expect? Where might we harmonize, and aggravate?

• What are some red flags? Better said, are there any contact points or markers that might explain an intense erotic thrill (Lilith? 🐍) and also kind of not seeing the world the same way (Mercury ☿)?

• Why does this relationship feel so important, or meaningful? Do we have “contact points” between the Nodes, Chiron, or the Vertex, for example? How does this relationship align with who I am + where I’m at?

• If there aren’t any red flags per se, but agitating aspects between charts > what am I supposed to be learning from this relationship? How can the astrology re-frame the challenges, or help explain what I’m struggling with about this person? Can aspects between our charts explain this tension? Which aspects might be useful for mitigating the more challenging ones?

this post will guide you through some kind of step-by-step process for finding + interpreting a synastry chart, though it turns out, there can be a lot to scope out. 😳

There are other ways of doing relationship astrology (composite charts, or the Davison method), but a synastry chart is how I’m stalking baristas / learning to read the astrology of relationships, so that’s what I’ll be covering here. ✨

Btw—you can do a synastry reading with anyone’s chart—friends, family, coworkers, even events or locations. It’s just comparing two sets of time, dates, and locations…

HOWEVS, if you’re not already familiar with your own chart, it might be wonky trying to combine it with someone else’s. This post helps you get the jumpstart on interpreting a natal chart, which you can do for your own, then the same for the other person’s.

Once you have a grasp of each chart on its own, hit up the how-to below and cast a synastry chart. ✌🏻

ALSO, LAST THING—because the whole thing is kind of tricky, allow me to enhance the learning experience by supplying you with a convenient worksheet, so that you can draw and explore the concepts I’m about to trot out by hand!

Your’s free by subscribing to my email newsletter, which endeavors to be super infrequent, but also as cute as possible. 💌👍🏻

Free Synastry Chart Worksheet

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Free Synastry Chart Worksheet 💕✨

YAS, SUBSCRIBE ME, DO IT!

WHERE + HOW TO GET A SYNASTRY CHART

There are a couple places you can get one (including Astro.com, which I use for casting natal charts), but I prefer Astro Seek for synastry, because it also supplies autogenerated descriptions of the contact points between the charts, to measure against my own crap-ass amateur interpretations. 💕 

FIRST, VISIT ASTRO-SEEK.COM, HOVER OVER “FREE CHARTS”, AND SELECT SYNASTRY

CLICK “SYNASTRY” AGAIN FROM THE MENU IT JUMPS TO.

AT THE CALCULATOR, TYPE YOUR BIRTH DATA INTO PERSON A. DO THE SAME FOR PERSON B, WHO IS YOUR PARTNER-IN-SYNASTRY.

Okay, you’ll get a big chart graphic, and if you scroll down, there will be summary-descriptions for all your synastry aspects. There’s also an “aspects” table you can glance at, just click the gray hyperlink below the chart graphic itself.

HINT > take a screenshot or copy + paste the whole thing into a document to peruse at your leisure, or to pull out for especially emotional Mercury Retrogrades (in the Water Signs ♋️♏️♓️).

REMEMBER, THO > you have to request the Astro-Seek software also show the “quincunx” a.k.a. the most karmic aspect, which is considered a “minor” aspect (idk why, that’s for the grown-up astrologers to answer).

To get the quincunx aspects to show > Click the gray “Extended settings” hyperlink, just under the button that says CALCULATE SYNASTRY, and select “quincunx” from the aspects list. ✅

How much stock should I put into the auto-generated interpretations? > they lack voice and perspective, but don’t knock the auto-descriptions, they’re invaluable for comparing / contrasting your actual experience, and you kinda just need something to start with, even if it reads a little like a robo-cook book… with astrology recipes. 🤔😳✨

Plus, if you already know a bit about the Signs, Houses, and other placements, you can weigh in your own interpretations against the autogenerated ones, and hyper synthesize, we’re getting better all the time. 🙌🏻💫

HOW TO READ A SYNASTRY CHART…

…EVEN A HYPOTHETICAL ONE. 💁🏻‍♀️✨

This is mine + the barista’s (hypothetical) synastry chart highlighting our crazy-cute-karmic Ascendent action >

You can see the Astro-Seek synastry chart calculator lined up the Signs of our charts. Aries alongside Aries, Taurus alongside Taurus, etc.

All we have to do is circle up the “contact points,” or wherever one planet or angle or other marker connects with another in the other chart. We’d also look at the relationship Houses, and do a jaunt around the whole chart looking for other relationship indicators.

ALSO, click the tab labelled “Aspect Tables” in order to see all the aspects between your charts gridded out for you. Partner A will be in Blue and on the left hand vertical column, while Partner B will be Orange and on the upper horizontal column…

Remember, my main reference on this process has been Stephen Arroyo’s Person to Person Astrology, but at the bottom I’ll link to other references to help broaden / deepen your synastry studies (you’ll need ‘em, and there’s plenty, just keep scrollin’, just keep scrollin’ 🐟).

I also added what anonymous Internet witches suggest you look for in synastry, so you might have a lot to pick through + Google about, and therefore much to self-synthesize (instead of parenting or planning for grad school or getting off Unemployment or whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing instead of this right now, #notjudging, thx for being here 🙌🏻💫).

🌟first, get a grasp of each BIRTH chart all on its own >

This post gives you a quick how-to for parsing out birth charts, and this CafeAstrology article helps you read a nata; chart for “relationship potential,” just because.

And YA, it might take hella days reading each chart on its own. 💁🏻‍♀️

(And each, every one is worth it! 🌟)

🌟 next, make sure you have a place to store all the quotes + links you pull up >

You might be starting this project during a rained out weekend, but it might be six months before everything gels and you suddenly start feeling like a love psychic on Hinge. 💕

Also, I’ve found that I can spot + interpret charts faster if I print them out onto scratch paper, so I can circle up and draw criss-crosses, and jot down keywords—just tossin’ that out there. 💫

🌟 WHAT TO FOCUS IN ON IN YOUR SYNASTRY CHART…

EXAMINE YOUR MOONS. 🌙

Our Moons (Sign, House, + aspects) describe our temperament and inner personality—the part that seeps out when we’re sleepy or hangry or need personal time. Moons in synastry describe your potential for domestic harmony.

EXAMINE YOUR PERSONAL PLANETS. 🌸🔥

Particularly Venus + Mars, but looking at aspects between your Mercurys might be useful in understanding communication style.

CHECK YOUR “FUN”, “SIGNIFICANT OTHERS”, + “INTIMACY” HOUSES.

Which of your planets show up in each other’s Fifth (“fun”), Seventh (“significance”), OR Eighth (“intimacy”) Houses? You might show up in different Houses, or not in many of these ones, but that’s cool—aspects and other chart indicators can overrule.

FOR SERIOUSNESS, LOOK FOR CONTACTS BETWEEN-AMONGST YOUR SATURNS.

Saturn is how we build our lives, where we get our reality checks. Which House does Saturn show up in on the other person’s chart? Does your or their Saturn aspect your other planets?

LOOK FOR CONTACT BETWEEN THE CHART ANGLES (ASC, IC, DSC, MC).

The angles reveal the “directions” we’re evolving in, and are also the “antennae”. Planets beside our angles show what we “pick up” about each other.

LOOK FOR CONTACT BETWEEN THE “KARMIC” AND “DESTINY” POINTS.

Or basically, contact between each other’s Lunar Nodes and / or Vertex. Also, look for any “inconjunct” or “quincunx” aspects, a.k.a. the “growth” aspects, telling you where you will feel the most flex-release in your dynamic.

AND FOR GLITTER, LOOK FOR WHERE THE “LOVE ASTEROIDS” SHOW UP.

The main Love asteroids are Psyche (16), Eros (433), and Amor (1221), but there are more. These don’t necessarily reveal much, but it adds sheen + emphasis to wherever they’re sprinkled. You have to manually type these into the chart calculator at Astro.com, but you can click a hyperlink labelled “show love asteroids” on the chart itself to reveal the asteroids on Astro-Seek. (This article has a complete list of the Love Asteroid numbers.)

FOR SEX + LUST…

…along with Mars-Venus, look to Black Moon Lilith, the Fifth + Eighth Houses, contacts between-amongst Eros, and maybe peek at the House cusped by Scorpio, as well as other points described on this page over here. ✨…

🌟 HINT 1 > Gather all the information first, then trying to feel or visualize or intuit how all the information interacts together (a.k.a. synthesize). 💫

🌟 HINT 2 > And remember, you can also score this super convenient worksheet to help you parse out ‘n recombine your birth charts by hand (and accelerate your astro’ learning process, yo’)…!

FREE SYNASTRY CHART WORKSHEET

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FREE SYNASTRY CHART WORKSHEET 💕✨

YAS, SUBSCRIBE ME, DO IT!

Even with all this information, you might only be able to catch glimpses—like glancing into and noticing some fully decorated rooms in a house, where certain people have gathered and are interacting in whatever fashion the synastry aspects would suggest, dressed for and speaking in tones of voices commensurate with the zodiac sign of the room, while other rooms you might glance into can be totally lifeless.

Like, maybe the Venus-Mars contacts, your Moons, and even the Love Asteroids make total sense 👌🏻, but the descriptions for the karmic stuff and angles feel way too woo, or irrelevant to your realm of interests (as fair as they pertain to your partner-in-charts).

That’s fine—most of the karmic stuff and angles require you to think abstract, to think about the charts and their meanings with as little personal reference as possible. You legit have to picture the earth floating in space, or basically each chart representing how the earth looks in the Night Sky app, except two-fold, and that the symbols represent subconscious drives transcendent of our personalities that are interacting with each other through time, space, and corporeality, regardless of our preferences. 😳🤩

And there just might be no freaking way to articulate or visualize how that interaction would actually play out in any REAL LIFE scenario, as you’re actually able to articulate or visualize it. 

You also have to be willing to see yourself as an “archetype,” or taking on a role and possessing qualities you might not prefer, but might just be the case when you’re interacting with that person, and that’s un-romantic as hell. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Skip all the confusing stuff, and take this general advice for chart interpretation (from Arroyo’s other book) > “Even if you feel that you understand only a small part of a chart, follow what you do understand and it will lead you into the structure and major themes of the rest of the chart. And don't worry about doing a 'complete chart interpretation,' for it is impossible. Instead of getting lost in the endless details of a chart, it is better to focus on what is important in the person's nature and life and on what kind of person he or she is.”

OKAY, SO > focus on what makes sense, and realize you’ll never get to the “end” of the chart.

(Trust me, the Eclipse triggering this whole project happened in June and I’m only just posting it to the secret page in August. 🙌🏻✨)

OKAY, let’s go step-by-step and pretend we’re doing synastry! 😎

✨ For Stephen Arroyo, the elements (🜂🜃🜁🜄 ) give you the most info in terms of compatibility….

“The four elements in a birth chart reveal the ability to participate in certain realms of being and to tune in to specific fields of life experience. These elements have nothing to do with the elements of chemistry and in fact transcend them completely. The astrological birth chart is drawn for the exact moment of the first breath, that instant when we immediately establish an attunement and a rhythm with the cosmic energy sources. The birth chart therefore reveals our individual energy pattern, our attunement to the four elements.”

If you cast your birth chart through Astro.com or CafeAstrology (not Astro-Seek, as I have demonstrated in this post), the chart includes an “elements” graphic showing at-a-glance where the planets are distributed amongst the elements. 💫

For me, pour moi > I’ve got that Fire 🔥+ Earth 🪨, and I’m Scorpio forward. ♏️💧

The barista’s hypothetical chart ✨> murky Water vibes 💧where his Sun, Moon, and Saturn dwell, with asteroids and math points speckling Fire and Air, and Earth almost totally deserted but for Mars.

I’m not totally sure what this means, but only because all of my questions aren’t really asking after compatibility (I want significance! I want meaning!), but typically, we’re attracted to people with charts emphasizing the element we lack most in our own charts.

So, I might be achey for his Air vibes (Gemini Rising means that he leads with Air 🜁), while he might (if at all) be elementally attracted by my gravity, a.k.a. my earthy Moon and Mars, et. al. 🤷🏻‍♀️

This article offers an intro-tutorial on elemental compatibility in synastry, this CafeAstrology article provides a “score guide to  “synastry points” 🤣, and this might be totally random, but I love it > Are You Attracted to the Element You Lack? ( 🙋🏻‍♀️🜁 )

✨ ALSO FOR arroyo, the moons are paramount 🌙 … 

“First of all, the Moon has much to do with the non-intellectual, non-rational mental functioning—influencing our thinking fear more than many would like to admit. When we say, ‘I feel that…,’ we are speaking from our Moon’s attunement and acknowledging that, although what we are saying is not necessarily provable or logical, we are comfortable with that viewpoint. The Moon likewise reveals much about how at home one is with oneself—how inwardly secure one is. The Moon’s location and element are intimately related to what one needs in order to feel right about oneself. In addition, the Moon especially refers to the feelings or instinctive heavier we are most comfortable expressing in a social situation.”

(Stephen Arroyo, Person to Person Astrology)

What matters to Stephen Arroyo is compatibility between both Moons’ elements > traditionally, Fire-Air 🔥💨 and Earth-Water 🪨💦 are considered harmonious, while Water-Water 💦, Earth-Earth 🪨, et al, are consider most “compatible.”

Also remember, you’re probably not gonna tick all the boxes for mega astro compatibility, even if your Moons suggest otherwise, simply because “chilling at home together” might not be what your goal or preferred relationship style (Venus placement will tell you more).

SO > make note + take screenshots of your Moons in synastry, and remember they represent your core temperaments, a.k.a. the version of yourself that emerges when you’re craving your mother or a friendly therapy dog, not necessarily when you’re craving satiation for your sexual angst. (Right? Right. 👌🏻)

Remember, you can also read for aspects, or the “interaction” between your Moons, if the elemental compatibility leaves you thirsty—easily provided by the Astro-Seek autogenerated synastry software (thank god).

Here’s what’s up for mine + the barista’s (hypothetical) Moons in aspect compatibility, which doesn’t look great, but I don’t hate (#wealth #powersagas #plutonian) 🤷🏻‍♀️ …

So, our Moons in synastry do not paint a picture of domestic harmony. 🌙❎

Remember though, we’re not just accounting for the Moons in themselves, but also how the Moons interact amongst other planets between charts.

PAR EXEMPLE > here’s what I liked from a different astrologer found via Google (about my Mars squaring his Moon) 😘 >

“Moon/Mars contacts can be very hot, sometimes too hot, because the Mars person’s sexuality penetrates (um…no other word I can use here) the other person’s psyche. The Moon rules the soma, the physical body as it relates to the psyche, so when Mars is interacting with the Moon, there are both physical and psychological stirrings that can be very intense. Mars is being turned on by the Moon person’s entire being. There can be an almost ferocious bonding, and issues surrounding nurturing can come up for both people. Anger, too. Sometimes Mars cuts deep, and the sexual relationship can make the Moon person aware of unconscious issues from the past. The Moon can feel uncomfortable because it feels too exposed. Mars will sense the withdrawal, and either retreat or pursue. This contact is intense, but not easy to live with unless there are other, calming factors between them.”

OKAY SO > account for aspects between not just your Moons, but between your Moons and other planets / angles / other curious markers! ☝🏻

Start here > this blog has a great database on Moon aspects in synastry.

Okay, but what kind of aspects (or “interactions”) should I be looking for, though? 🤔> trines ( 🜂 ) + sextiles ( ✱ ) are more appreciative aspects, meaning you can facilitate those planet-qualities in each other, whereas squares ( ▫️) + quincunxes ( ><) are the “lesson oriented” interactions, meaning you might frustrate each other here.

And one of the special opportunities provided by a synastry reading is being able to hone in on and decide whether those “lesson oriented” aspects are worth the frustration. 💁🏻‍♀️☺️

Also, this is a good argument for cross-layering your references on interpretation. 🙌🏻

✨ …and what about compatibility between mars + venus? ⚤

Venus + Mars are considered the magic attractor-factors in synastry, though the explanations and interpretations skew towards the astrologer’s point of view on sexual orientation and gender roles, and that can get kind of complicated and frustrating.

SUPPOSEDLY, Mars operates differently in a man’s chart versus a woman’s, and there are many opinions and schools of thought for how you might read for one in one chart versus another.

Here’s the deal > Venus represents our parasympathetic attractiveness, or basically, how we attract automatically, without having to think about it at all, whereas Mars represents our sympathetic force, or how we compose ourselves to achieve, secure, or win over.

According to astrology lore, you want aspects (or interactions) between your Venus-Mars where they can operate by design, as in, this chart’s Mars finds a perfect target in this chart’s Venus. 🎯

Generally, the idea is that your Venus-Mars won’t compete, but collaborate. 👐🏻✨

“More than any other factor in astrology, Venus reveals one’s tastes—be they aesthetic, romantic, or sensual—as well as the resulting modes of sharing one’s finer feelings and affections. Mars, I should add, also symbolizes a component of one’s erotic tastes, specifically one’s sexual tastes and the quality of energy that motivates sexual desire. Together Venus and Mars represent the energy attunement of one’s erotic nature and each individual’s more intense personal and passionate feelings. Whereas Venus shows most specifically the relationship needs and mode of sharing (giving and receiving) with others, Mars reveals the energy level of the sey drive and the modus operandi of going after what or whom one desires, as well as how the sexual energy is the most naturally expressed.”

(Also Stephen Arroyo)

But what if there isn’t much contact between the obvious hot buttons in a chart? > even if your Moons or Venus-Mars are incompatible, or you don’t have any planets showing up in their Fifth or Seventh Houses, or you suspect someone else in closer proximity to your crush might actually have a cuter Venus (and that feels like fucking hell 🔥), you have to take the whole synastry chart into account.

In fact, some of the sexiest synastry might not have any actual “relationship” potential (like—can’t even picture them making chitchat while waiting for a train), and some of the cutest-couple synastry might not have anything hot about them at all (like—they’re definitely having “fur babies”).

Basically, reading for Venus-Mars in synastry speaks to platonic, give-take qualities, your chemistry and common ground, but doesn’t speak to the potential, purpose, or meaning of the relationship. ☝🏻

But remember, not every romantic or sexual relationship you enter will be able to hit all the hot buttons or “longterm relationship” markers in a synastry chart, so stay open to the markers that are there, and what they tell you, versus obsessing about what could have been there. 😳

“There is, undoubtedly, a nice give and take between these two planets, but they don’t, in and of themselves, offer intimacy, openness, or emotional bonding. They are, purely and simply, about attraction, and desire, and they can grow cold very easily without the rest of the charts to buoy them up.”

(Source)

For me, pour moi, I appreciate the Venus-Venus in our (hypothetical) synastry for what it reveals about sexual style + compatibility (via Plutonic Desire) > Mars in Earth Signs (♉️♑️) needs and delivers stamina, a slow approach, sensuousness, plays to a “Mommy / Daddy” or “Master / Mistress” dynamic, and tends to incorporate bondage and power play. ☺️🕊✨

I went through this a few times with charts from my ex-husband, ex-lovers, and friends-I-want-to-fuck, and it was either generally accurate, or felt promising (read as: validates my erotic intuitions ✨).

(I say more in the upcoming secret post about Black Moon Lilith attractions and synastry, so, stick around. 👍🏻)

And that concludes what I think it most useful about the Venus-Mars in synastry. 👐🏻

To help you research your Venus-Mars contact points > how to read YOUR Venus in THEIR Houses, YOUR Mars in THEIR Houses (my Mars♂ in his Twelfth House makes me either the barista’s “Spiritual Catalyst” or “Total Un-Doing”, well well well... ☺️), and Venus-Mars aspects in SYNASTRY (aspects between your / their Mars-Venus).

✨ also, ‘inconjunct’ or quincunx aspects are key, a.k.a. karmic…

“Hard aspects between charts provide the stimulus for growth between two people. They cause us to challenge our assumptions, and see the world (and our planets) in new ways. When we’re younger, we assume that everyone is like us (or our families); once we get into our mid- to late-twenties, we learn that isn’t true and we want to see what else is out there. Hard aspects between charts push us to open our eyes and our heart. Hard aspects from another’s chart to Mercury will shake up our assumptions and thought patterns. Hard aspects to Venus teach us lessons about how we express love and whether or not that love is communicated in a way the other person understands. This stimulation might be uncomfortable, but it’s always compelling.”

(Source)

Aspects basically describe the “relationship” between the planets (+ angles, + other markers) in a chart, or between two charts.

Trines and sextiles between charts are considered “soft” or “easy”, meaning you might appreciate + facilitate these qualities in each other.

Squares, oppositions, and quincunxes, on the other hand, feel frustrating—sometimes in a very appealing way, because it feels like a force-flex, tense-release dynamic. 😉

Also, challenging aspects are considered a bit karmic. You’re working through soul-level tensions, perhaps erotically, the way nature intended? 🌺🌟

Conjunctions, or planets side-by-side in a synastry chart, indicate the intensity + accessibility of those two energies in your relationship—not necessarily that those two players are collaborating well.

Which is funny (kinda), just because you can feel the enthusiasm in so many online astrology articles about finding conjunctions in a chart (I “whoop” out loud every time I find one), but this astrologer muses that Romeo and Juliet might have had tons of conjunctions in their synastry, so, there ya go 😳🥀 >

“A conjunction can behave as if it’s complete within itself. But within the conjunction itself, all is not peaceful. Each of the planets will fight for supremacy; they will tussle with one another over who has the purest expression.”

SO, if you have any aspects between “relationship” planets in your synastry, those planets and their themes are probably what you’re feeling in this relationship, and if you have challenging aspects, those energies are probably what you’re working out together. 💫

HINT 1 for interpreting aspects in synastry > use the handy graphic that Astro Seek provides, so you can spot your meaningful aspects at-a-glance (versus trying to figure them out from the knot of lines in the middle of the chart).

HINT 2 for interpreting aspects in synastry > you actually must select for the chart calculator to show ‘quincunx’ aspects (considered a “minor” aspect), on the same page where you enter the birth data on Astro-Seek. Before clicking “show chart”, click the gray-colored hyperlink inviting you to adjust for aspects. I didn’t know or care about this until reading that the quincunx aspect is considered the most useful, “mega-karmic” aspect, and now it’s the main aspect I look for. 💁🏻‍♀️

Read more about the types of aspects to focus on in synastry, and read here for more about the Quincunx. 💫✨

Also, this article offers some interpretations for inconjunct or quincunx planets! Make a list of all your inconjunct planets, then hit it up > that’s a dossier on all you + your crush’s “karmic” dynamic! 🤩

✨ reading for the relationship houses in synastry…

“I have found it easiest to think about it this way: When somebody’s Sun or Moon (or other planet) falls in a particular house in my natal chart, it is much like that person has the effect of a permanent transit to that house in my natal chart! If your Sun falls in my eighth house, for example, when I interact with you, it is somewhat like the Sun is transiting my eighth house, highlighting and illuminating 8th house issues for me. Similarly, if my Sun falls in your third house, I have a similar effect on your life as the Sun transiting your third house.”

(Source)

When we look at the First, Fifth, Seventh, and Eighth Houses in a natal chart, we learn your relationship POTENTIAL, whereas in synastry, which of your planets shows up in each other’s relationship houses says something about the type of relationship you’ll have. ✨ 

Here are the Mad Libs-style keywords I’d use to describe the “meaning” of the relationship houses >

First House = “presentation”, Fifth House = “play”, Seventh House = “relate”, Eighth House = “merge”. 💫

For instance, as far as interpreting “relationship potential” > Aries on my Fifth House of Self-Love + Fruition housing my Sun (persona) + Jupiter (hype) indicates… my personality is basically sex play. (Jk)

Aries is assertive (Cardinal) Fire 🔥, and wants to play, tussle, explore, and do new things together, fast, and soon. Usually whether a relationship forms afterward or not depends on how well we play together, and whatever we designate the relationship as depends on our play style.

For the barista ✨> Libra, assertive Air 🌬on the Fifth House indicates a need for social compatibility, and to relate through shared interests and mutual self-expression, and that (contrary to his atrocious Lilith placement, see more under stalking with synastry below 💕), dating itself is a critical prelude to sex…

BUT… having Pluto (in retrograde) here might also suggest shady dating history > the “shadow side” of Libra, such as dating with artifice (lies) and mental manipulation, i.e. love bombing. 

(Pluto shows where our secrets sleep. 🤫)

Okay, so that’s how you would read for the Fifth House in terms of dating preference…

But what if you don’t show up in each other’s relationship houses? Or in the “wrong” Houses, the ones you don’t want to show up in? 🤔> focus on where you do show up, and whether the action happening in there speaks to your astro queries (and what you want out of that attraction). 🌟

Like—the barista and mine’s Fifth Houses don’t speak to much dating compatibility ❎, my Saturn shows up in his Seventh House (partnerships, so, great for marriage and business ✅), his Ascendent lands in my Eighth House (sex), straddled by my Chiron (wound) and Vertex (destiny), and my Moon-Neptune land in his Eighth House, which I love the description of to the point where I want someone’s Moon-Neptune in mine 😩)

Also, just a bit of trivia > planets in your relationships houses are “predictors” for the type of people you’d most like to heavy pet (5th), have a long affair with (8th), or marry for god and country (7th).

FOR EXAMPLE, the Sign on or planets in your Seventh House tend to show up in the First House of the person you first marry, or consider your first “significant other.” I have Mars in my Seventh House and my first husband has Mars in his First House. 😳

ALSO—the Sign / planets in your Ninth House hint at your next significant relationship > I have Lilith in the Ninth, while the barista has Lilith close hovering by his Midheaven, or the apex of the chart, it’s like astrology is a wise old auntie who knows the real scoop behind everything… 🤯😅

(ALSO also, I notice the barista has no planets in his Seventh House, but Neptune almost conjunct his Descendent, indicating he might be permanently waiting on the One to come into his life, but like—an impossible One. (Intrigued? Love this article on natal Neptune and our “divine discontent.” 👌🏻)

ALSO, REAL FAST, YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS > the Sign on your Eighth House might say something about your favorite type of sex. (Gemini on the Eighth ♊️> I have a proclivity for menage á trois involving twins and double penetration that’s real AF—Idc, know it, tell the world, come find me! 🎉✨)

Reading for Planets in each other’s “relationship houses” > The First, Fifth, Seventh, + Eighth Houses, and what they mean in synastry. 

✨ reading for saturn in synastry… 🪐💕

“Everyone knows the short answer to this question: for an important, long term relationship, we need Saturn contacts (any and many) combined with Sun/Moon in any array of combinations.”

(Source) 

If longterm means anything to you, or you’re looking at how or where or why to build someone or a relationship with them into your life, then Saturn contacts are where to look.

For me, the barista’s crazy-aspected Saturn lands in my Ninth House of Higher Pursuits (where my Lilith is currently stalking him ☺️), while my Saturn-Uranus lands in his Seventh House of Relationships.

Who “feels” the other—does the planet person feel the House person, or vice versa? > many astrologers suggest that the barista would feel my Saturn in his “relationship zone,” and I’d feel his in my “going the distance” zone.

When are you feeling it? > supposedly with synastry, it’s like you’re being “transited” by that person, so you might feel it best and most in each other’s company, and I expect when thinking about or reflecting about the areas of your life where they impact you, indicated by the House overlays.

What would “Saturn” feel like, exactly? > Saturn feels solid, like the real world. In my Ninth House of Higher Pursuits, it feels like someone getting into the car that everyone else in the car isn’t totally sure about—I guess this Lilith picks up hitchhikers, does he know what he’s in for, does she??

From Detroit Rock City (watching this trailer won’t make you better, it’s basically just so you understand I’m referencing a 90s teen movie right now) > “They make scary movies that start out like that!” “But dude, pornos also start out like that!” 🤩🤣

(Btw—Natasha Lyonne is obviously my true-life Lilith. 🐯🐍)

ANYWAY, My Saturn in the barista’s hypothetical Seventh House of Partnerships + Enemies > which might feel either hella reassuring, or disgusting—depends on how much “solidity” and “security” factor into his relationship / sex needs.

I’m guessing that for someone not stalking the other with astrology apps, my Saturn might register for him as > “I get a vibe that I could trust her with my PIN number.”

ALSO, what I know for sure from deep-researching a potentially wrong natal chart for the stranger I’m fascinated with > his Saturn aspects ev-vur-ree-thenggg.

Saturn is runnin’ his chart. 🥺

Like—”uh oh, dad’s home” all day, every day.

Basically, my Saturn would feel too heavy no matter which House it showed up in his chart, and goes for everyone (o snap).

HOWEVER… my chart has a Joker up its sleeve (or something) > my Lilith (taboo, erotic thrills) on his Saturn in his Second House of Self-Worth and Personal Value. 😍

Also having Saturn in my own Second House (cuuute), I can sympathize that feeling anybody’s Lilith in this place (self-worth / value) would trigger most if not all of my most ruthless self-protection strategies.

But also—I wonder, would the Lilith vibe actually help me lower those defenses? 🤔✨

…through the erotic supplication of bygone insecurity dramas…?

“Lilith conjunct Saturn: Patriarchy, structure and order meet non-conformism in the most dramatic manner. The Saturn person, unable to impose anything on Lilith, experiences a shock in their system as they descend into a vortex of hidden fears, leading to a de-programming of their karmic habits. It is one of the most dangerous and karmic interactions, it can lead to brutality. Sexuality is dark and powerful, obsessions can become serious. Karma is very heavy and carries the hardness of Saturn, extremely compelling. People may not be separated from each other.”

(Source)

I’m gonna dig deeper into the barista’s Lilith in the next section, which seems dead-on for his hypothetical chart (if nothing else does 👌🏻)…

Meanwhile, go here to learn more about Saturn aspects in synastry, and here for descriptions of Saturn in each other’s Houses, and how that might add commitment or structure to your hypothetical relationship. 💕

✨ reading for the angles in synastry…

The angles in a chart, starting on the left-hand side and moving down and to the right, are the Ascendent, IC, Descendent, and MC a.k.a. Midheaven.

(Psst—if the chart were a compass, it would read > Asc = west, IC = south, Dsc = east, + MC = north. 💫)

I’m brushing over the angles, because they tie into the “karmic points” section immediately following, but they need to get mentioned, because the angles describe where we feel each other >

“The angles act as a kind of magnetic antennae; we not only sense the world (and others) through them, but they act as a gateway for the evolution of our consciousness. No wonder they play a key role in drawing potential partners to us.”

(Source)

What am I looking for on the angles? > first, just note if there are any contacts between your planets or other markers on the angles.

On any angle (ASC, IC, DSC, MC) > the Sun feels warm, accepting, and celebratory (this angle celebrates who you are), the Moon brings feelings of intimacy and understanding, Mercury means you get each other and each other’s POV, Venus contacts to any of the angles bring beauty, loveliness, and pleasure to the area the angle regulates, and Mars activates whatever angle it lands near.

“On the whole, inner planets to angles are a positive thing, unless the planet is very troubled in the other chart. We get to know that planet intimately through another being. The planet person feels that planet enhanced and made stronger and louder through the contact. All aspects matter, but mainly we should be paying attention to the conjunction (and, by natural course, the opposition) and the square. These connections get even juicier if the planet involved is also an angle ruler, particularly of the Ascendant or Descendant.”

(Read more about and get linked to more resources about planets on the angles in synastry over here. 💕)

Both the barista and I (hypothetically) share a “double-whammy” of Vertex-Ascendent placements (fate 💫)—but literally every bit of astrological lore offered on Vertex relationships caution against leaping into them as though they might become a Disney princess movie.

Though, in general, you want aspects between your Ascendents in synastry (especially double-whammies—where your charts flip flop or reciprocate aspects!), but the Vertex in particular signals a destined attraction, not necessarily a relationship.

Having the Vertex or Point of Destiny on the Ascendent specifically  >

“Vertex activation by transit or synastry heralds the entrance of a person or event that is karmically pointed. Something or someone enters our lives in order to steer us in the direction of our own greater good, something to keep us on task or put us back on track if we’re straying. This can be a positive epiphany, a stressful can of worms, or anything in between. The timing of such encounters is indicated by the activation of the vertex. A contact transit to the vertex, a conjunction, or to its opposite point, the anti-vertex, is the key that opens this gate. This timing can be observed in the natal chart as a transit. It could be seen in the progressed chart as a transit to the progressed vertex, or it can be a progressed planet activating the natal vertex.”

(Source)

✨ reading for the karmic stuff in synastry…

“Karmic” stuff focuses on the woo markers, like the Vertex, or Chiron and the Outer Planets (Uranus, Neptune, Pluto), because these hint at fatefulness, either because of timing, or because they set the background tone for hella years of your life, or because the transits coincide with chronological age (such as Chiron Return).

So basically, karmic stuff is where you look for the “why” or “meta” to an attraction or relationship. ✨

In the Astro-Seek chart calculator, it codes karmic contact points as “key,” and provides an auto-interpretation of your general compatibility, based on Planets, Aspects, and Signs.

Our relationship was coded “key” in the synastry chart with my ex-husband, because our overlapping Chirons were co-triggered by the 2011 Eclipse 🌗...

...but when you look at for compatibility in the rest of the chart. 👎🏻

Actually—the auto generated interpretation on Astro-Seek does a great job summarizing the synastry placements in a way that validates much of my experience IN my last relationship, so, that’s cool. 💁🏻‍♀️

Astro-Seek also coded mine + the barista’s (pretend ✨) synastry as “key,” because of my Vertex on his Ascendent and HIS Vertex on MY Ascendent (oh my gaaawd 💕)…

Also because of the timing of his Chiron Return + oncoming Renaissance Decade (more below ✨)…

PLUS the hyper-fateful Eclipse trigger. 🙀🌗🌀

“In synastry, Chiron contacts indicate that healing can be achieved through your union. The planet person may (inadvertently) push Chiron’s buttons, or vice-versa, reminding him of past hurts he has been carrying throughout his life. Indeed, Chiron’s energy is both healing, and painful. The Chiron person has the ability to cleanse the planet person’s wound and guide them away from what has been hurting them.”

(Source)

SO THEN, who represents Chiron and who’s the “planet person”? 🤔> I’ve been wondering after this question, because MY Chiron was triggered (with my Destiny Point 💫), so this attraction ought to be striated with painful remembering…

I don’t have any upcoming Chiron transits (see Chiron for your dates), although transiting Chiron tripped my North Node (higher purpose) simultaneous to the Eclipse trigger on my actual Chiron. 🤯

Meaning, there’s Chiron vibes for me in here, so there might be some kind of thematic crossovers in our soul-wound experiences.

BECAUSE the barista definitely has a Chiron transit coming 💫, and the emergence of my shy and weird focused attention might be a catalyst and emulsifier to what is sure to be a shit-on-your-heart corridor of experience. ❤️‍🩹

But also, he’s on the threshold of (mebbe) tapping into personal peace, fruition, and truth—of re-shifting the weight of his private suffering.

And I am involved ✨ to a still unknown degree, perhaps as some kind of metaphorical (and erotic) bloodletting…?

SO BASICALLY, based on the wonky synastry our (weird) relationship (if one happened) would be > (1) linked during a key passage or life corridor, (2) tender-possessive with a Repressed Pater-Bratty Lolita vibe (explaining why the attraction feels compulsory + scary—like walking through the hospital entrance for scheduled surgery), and (3) thwarted by our separate heavy loads of emotional baggage, control dramas, and intimacy issues… 😔😫

(…some of which will be indicated in my next secret tutorial about Chiron. 🤩✨)

Obviously, the karmic-astro stuff is hyper-woo, but if you’re feelin’ it, these have been the most useful articles > The Vertex versus (or in combination with) the Nodes in SYNASTRY 🌟Chiron in synastry, because my Vertex point is codependent on my Chiron 🌟also, contact points to look for in SIGNIFICANT (tho not necessarily long term) relationships.

…okay, wait, what part of the synastry explains the blue flash tho?? 🌗⚡️

Perhaps the flash I saw was Uranus (because his is so close to my Asc? 🤔), or it was the Eclipse “passing over us” and triggering his South Node + my Vertex-Chiron, because of this quote >

“Often, Vertex contacts come into our lives, deliver their message, and then disappear just as quickly as they came, leaving us altered in a profound way, but a bit shattered. Can’t get more Uranian than that–Uranus of the higher mind, beyond mere mortality/physicality. The lover or friend who comes ‘out of the blue’ and happens to put us on our path, who helps us know who are we when we are not our earth-created ego, we when we are not our ‘stuff.’ Like the Nodes, the Vertex reveals the soul’s intent, but it is confined to “Who am I?” Who is the inner Watcher, the one who knows? What happens when we discover that the guide to whom we attribute our luck and our grace and our inner wisdom is truly ourselves? This is the Vertex as the deepest part of “I.” When someone’s planet falls on either end of this axis, we cannot remain unaware of this Soul-Self. We are stricken to the core, so that even the core is newly altered.

In contrast, the Nodes are all about our interaction with the world ‘out there.’ Because they consist of the relationship of the Sun and the Moon from the point of view of the Earth, they are about the way our spiritual intent unfolds within material reality. They mark how we process our experience, and what we learn from it. The South Node describes our orientation to life, which is ingrained in us. It’s our habitual way of acting in the world, interacting with it, understanding it. It is the result of lifetimes of negotiating the ‘I’ with the ‘not I,’ the ego with the other. The South Node tells us which colour and pattern we use to filter our experience. The South Node says to us, this is they way the world works, and this is what I know”–only it doesn’t do it consciously. Most often we’re not aware of the way we filter experience, and we assume that others process the world the same way we do–their experience is our experience. And then one day (usually around the time of the first nodal return at age 19) we realize that isn’t really true. We begin to see differences in perception–and this is the beginning of the road towards the North Node.”

(Source)

SO, calibrating expectations. 💫

As is the case with karmic or fateful attractions, the “success” or meaning of it depends on specific, worldly circumstances conspiring to make the relationship happen…

BUT > even comparing only your natal synastry (birth charts), you’d only see a static idea about the relationship potential, and mostly decrypted based on your own unconscious projections (as the astrologer) on the the potential.

So, a PROGRESSED synastry chart ✨would help you look for “fateful” triggers that switched the relationship on (or off), or striated the mood or feeling of the attraction.

My Eclipse Moment is basically a story about fateful astrology triggers, and we’ll probably know by the end of the Eclipse series, December 2021, if a “relationship” was what was triggered, or just a shit-ton of funky research. 💫)

At the time of writing this, I’ve barely waded into chart progressions, and ya, the barista + mine’s progressed synastry chart reads like an epic poem on spiritual healing, erotic splendor, and maybe something secret-taboo whirling like eels around the ankles of the barista’s inner Patriarch, and I cannot wait to dig into it (next week / two months from now). 😜👻🐍

WHY THIS IS “STALKING” WITH SYNASTRY

OKAY, SO > barista hollered at me. 😳💁🏻‍♀️

Dude, he yelled at me like I represented every asshole in the world, the IRS combined with the boogey man come for his little dog, or as if I’d just rolled up like >

My gut was telling me (this is a skateboarding analogy, sorry) > he is feeling the way I feel when I’ve set off down a steep hill and going so fast I won’t be able to stop without biffing it on the pavement, so I have to dive sideways off the board onto the dirt patch on the side of the street, bc we live in a municipality and there aren’t any sidewalks in the residential zones… 💫

I THINK… he panicked.

I don’t think he actually felt offended, criticized, or even believed I was judging him when I asked about his little dog.

I don’t think his anger or sense of danger was real, or like—activated.

I think… he was actually elated—literally thinking “hooray! sex trap! 🎉” for about three seconds.

Until his dilapidated psyche hooked in. 👻❌

Because after he shout-lectured at me > landing on “AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO COME HERE…” I interrupted, “…that’s true,” and he deflated, and his mouth turned downward like he was gonna cry or puke or both, idk, he basically looked like someone just handed him his draft notice (something my uncles say).

AND MAYBE THIS IS ONLY BECAUSE OF MY LILITH (see below), but instead of becoming a “Karen” / Volcano Monster from the end of Fantasia and threatening to report him to a coffeeshop embassy (that may or may not exist ✨), I inwardly collapsed and also tried not to puke or cry.

Because… I got yelled at?

Alone! 😩

By a stranger I offered a good deed towards, and idk, I thought he liked me, wtf…?

now we have to talk about nessus, a.k.a. the “abuse” asteroid… 😔

OKAY, so this is why it’s stalking with synastry > I went to pull up the transit chart for that day (when the barista yelled), and because I had just started getting into asteroids, I had thrown a bunch of random “asteroid numbers” for the software to calculate.

Well, the software cast the barista’s transits for that day, but with “extra” letters in one of the angular Houses, indicating an asteroid I wouldn’t have seen the previous times I’d casted his chart.

And here’s what I saw > on the day he yelled me out of the store, the Sun was conjunct his Nessus. 😳

Simultaneously, transiting Nessus (the asteroid in the sky presently) was within a 4° orb of his own Sun*.

(*On this hypothetical birth chart.)

OMG! …what does that mean? 🤔> when transiting planets (or asteroids, etc.) connect with our charts (especially a conjunction a.k.a. coming side-by-side), we usually experience coincidental events that bring memories and lessons of that body top of mind. 🌀

And when there is a simultaneous trigger, like with the asteroid Nessus coincidentally transiting the same Planet as it is transiting the natal asteroid, you can safely assume synchronicity is afoot. ✨✨✨

SO, BASICALLY > we might guess that on this day he yelled at me, the barista also become totally conscious of whatever is represented by Nessus. 

Btw, Nessus is the “abuse” asteroid. 🤭

This post is definitely not about Googling for abuse asteroids (but stay subscribed)…

But because Nessus in in an angular House (= a “strong push” in our chart), and also in Gemini ♊️(a big theme in my personal Eclipse Story [also his Eclipse Story I guess? 🤔])…

I went to Google to find a description of Nessus in Gemini ♊️, and what I found fits him like a slipper 🩰>

“Nessus in Gemini: Can be obsessed with winning arguments and debates, getting their way via persuasion, and overall being heard. This is the person in love with their own voice. Control usually is obtained over others with verbal abuse and trickery. Cycles of abuse/control are broken when they speak up for themselves, get help from a support network, and when they share their story. There is an association with ‘exposing the truth’ or at least their side of a situation/story. Trust issues revolve around lies and infidelity.”

(Source)

[Side note > I hella love his voice, it sounds like the human version of a pan flute band multiplied by Jumanji, whatever that means for you. 💫]

[UGH STOP TALKING ABOUT HIS VOICE > it sounds like river rocks tumbling against each other in a chamois lined bag… 💕

and when he’s yelling at you… being throttled with that bag. ❌]

[Without the astrology, how would we be able to appreciate the irony? 💕]

Anyway, everyone has a Nessus, okay? > when I looked up mine, I realized my Nessus placement describes something totally done to me while at my most vulnerable, while also being something I might totally do in self-defense. 🤭

Like—my Nessus placement rhymes with specific abusive behaviors I recognize being done to me, and that I might do to others if I felt defenseless against them > the abused wielding the abuser’s weapons. 

What’s useful about the “abuse” asteroid is that it becomes an analogy for noticing + becoming aware about the ways we try to self-protect, and are totally unaware that we’re being abusive, or outright aggressive.

Just sayin’.

Basically, we can talk about Nessus to become enlightened about this particular sort of blind spot in our psyches (thx again, astrology). 

To re-equalize things, here’s my own Nessus description, NESSUS in VIRGO ♍️> “Here we see someone obsessed with organization, neatness, routine, health, work, or overall perfection. This Nessus is associated with abuse in health or service.They control others with doubt, unhelpful criticism, playing off insecurities, and relentless nit-picking. Cycles of abuse are broken by concentrating on healing, maybe physical, emotional, spiritual, or all of the above. Standing up for themselves may be needed, but finding the inner healer, other healers, and an atmosphere of “health” is needed. Trust issues revolve around “being good enough”. They fear showing their flaws to loved ones or being called out or unloved due to their imperfections or flaws.” (Source)

(This page shows you how to find your own Nessus, but maybe don’t, it won’t be on the test.  ✌🏻)

OKAY, SO THEN > if the Eclipse really did trip the barista’ South Node (as his hypothetical chart suggests) > these Sun-Nessus transits would coincide with the awareness of + beginning process for closing out old behavior, perhaps inspired by shitty childhood treatment interlaced with his Chiron wounding, accounting for his sudden alertness for my Chiron-Vertex emerging onto the scene of his weird life…. 🤔✨

Perfect. This is all totally on-theme.  🌗

But obviously, then, the barista is working out some of his own janky karma. 🌀

BECAUSE from the barista’s POV (since he is NOT stalking me with astrology apps, + therefore has no frame of reference for this miraculous woo that’s unfolding) > his hollering at me fucking thwarted an opportunistic moment alone with a single MILF who eye-fucked his tattoos—

meaning he was already at the finish line, all he had to do was show up + be game… ⚾️ (taunting “daddy issues” reference… Saturn drama… 🐍🐍🐍)

…but instead, he panicked and threatened me, then immediately regretted his choice, because he hid his car and changed his schedule to trick me into returning to the store….

Whereupon… nothing happened. ❌

Opportunities to clear the air or re-approach our weird stand off are submerged in these “stage-y” conversations with his coworkers, where I think he’s hoping I’ll catch hints he’s dropping (maybe?), but are mostly lost in the din + clatter of the busy cafe environment (+ bc my kid keeps bashing her head into furniture there, so, I’m not catching all of the performance 🤷🏻‍♀️). 

YET, instead of in any way clearing the air LIKE AN ADULT (says the one blogging about the incident 👩🏻‍💻) > he went about triangulating me against a coworker he was having casual sex with, who might have intended to leverage their coupling so she could move out of her housing situation with her ex-partner / current roommate, and I have an ookey-feeling the barista wedged my awkward haunting of the cafe between him and his coworker to evade these consequences, although that exact scenario might actually suit the rest of his chart (which we can’t dig into, it’ll take me hella weeks to get through), and my obsession with the blue flash might have actually thwarted an otherwise very useful situation…. ?

But what if that’s what Fate tripping his South Node might be about?? > quitting a “sex with benefits” routine that helps everybody get some version of what they want, but only breathes toxic fumes onto the secret underground fires of our collective intimacy issues (just thoughts)? 🤔

From Stephen Arroyo >

“In the West today, ‘intimacy’ of one kind of another is promoted by many forces (mass media, academic fads, music videos, coed dorms, and so forth), which make unformed youth erect barriers and images and pretenses to protect the fledgling self from in-depth threatening interactions. The mass media sells ‘intimacy’ and portrays it as quickly and cheaply achievable (ignoring the effort, emotional risk-taking, and self-revelation required); yet, at the same time an idealized image of marriage is often also promoted (because it hits certain emotional ‘buttons’ and also generates multiple streams of commercial profit)… all of which often leads to shattering disillusionment when reality hits.”

[REAL QUICK > notice when he says “make unformed youth ERECT barriers…”? 🤣]

So. I might have become a lightening rod—a moving target—bringing some sort of darkened personality issue in the barista to light. (Pluto ☌ my ASC, so. 🤷🏻‍♀️)

(Sorry, I know I keep dropping the “Plutonian” reference as tho that explains everything, but I haven’t finished that post yet, hang tight—just assume Plutonian = damaged, compelling, + manipulative, sometimes in useful ways. 👻)

And here’s the thing > without my rad occult powers (a.k.a. astrology apps ✨), from my POV, his outburst would just look like abusive, erratic, boundary-busting behavior…

…suggesting that without the apps + my curiosity after a weird light (which I probably would’ve forgotten about if not for astrology newsletters ✅)…

…and because he’s aggro about the overheated dog in his car, and because his nuts haven’t dropped yet nor has he found a way to countenance me…

…BASICALLY, without the apps, I might’ve decided to give up playing this stupid game and start stalking baristas at Starbucks… 🤔

AND THAT. WOULD BE. SO DISAPPOINTING. 😫🥀

But, CONFIRMED VIA OUR (hypothetical) SYNASTRY CHART 🙌🏻> the barista is Plutonian comme moi 👻✨, according to a big planetary stellium in Scorpio ♏️, including a Scorpio Moon hovering a handful of degrees from my Ascendent.  ☺️🦋

(Stellium = lots of planets there . ✨)

And remember what Arroyo said > we like “harmonious” Moon aspects, such as Moon-Ascendent contacts, but this particular Moon can be strange-volatile, in general. 😳

Having a Moon in Scorpio ♏️🌙 alone might qualify you as Plutonian, because a Scorpio Moon attaches to whatever force most compels or fascinates it (usually at a super-sublime, gooey, nonverbal level), and then basically wrestles itself into the other’s soma…

And pretty much all the rest of the Scorpio Moon’s life coalescences upon that compulsive ebbing and flowing for which the object of desire and fascination has now been totally submerged within.

Trust me on this > Pluto hovering within 3° of my Ascendent in Scorpio ♏️ (its domicile). 😘💋

Uh-kay, and what does that mean? > Basically, whenever a Scorpio Moon gets lost, it finds its way to my house. 💁🏻‍♀️

Last thing I’ll say will be excerpt from Octavio Paz’s My Life with the Wave, which is basically a surrealistic poem-story about romancing + cohabitating with a Scorpio Moon ♏️🌙>

“Stretched out side by side, we exchanged confidences, whispers, smiles. Curled up, she fell on my chest and unfolded there like a vegetation of murmurs. She sang in my ear, a little seashell. She became humble and transparent, clutching my feet like a small animal, calm water. She was so clear I could read all of her thoughts. On certain nights her skin was covered with phosphorescence and to embrace her was to embrace a piece of night tattooed with fire. But she also became black and bitter. At unexpected hours she roared, moaned, twisted. Her groans woke the neighbors. Upon hearing her, the sea wind would scratch at the door of the house or rave in a loud voice on the roof. Cloudy days irritated her; she broke furniture, said foul words, covered me with insults and gray and greenish foam. She spat, cried, swore, prophesied. Subject to the moon, the stars, the influence of the light of other worlds, she changed her moods and appearance in a way that I thought fantastic, but was a fatal as the tide.”

#IMHO, on the inside, SCORPIO MOONS ♏️🌙 are basically Girl, Interrupted. 😳

(#endrant)

Also, reading a bit deeper into the barista having Scorpio on the Sixth House (Virgo territory) ♏️♍️> obsession + control (♏️) might be the primary moods and motivators for his daily rhythm + process (= sixth house), especially so with all the planet-play here, and compounded by Lilith hovering close-at-hand to his Midheaven (angle at the top of the chart), plus having these other natal chart markers indicating sex addiction > Pluto in the 5th ✨ Lilith in Pisces ✨Neptune in aspect to North Node ✨ Gemini ASC… 😳🤭

So, calibrating expectations (and judging strangers), another win for astrology. 💫

also, if i’m accurate about birth year, and the barista’s chiron return is imminent >

I guess-timate the barista is at the starting line of his Chiron Return, or where the asteroid Chiron (our “soul wound”) returns to its natal position, thus kickstarting a major healing passage and era of personal actualization. ✨

What’s Chiron Return? > When a comet-asteroid in the sky right now pulls up side-by-side the Chiron in our charts, forcing a dead-on confrontation with the memories, players, and even lingering malfeasance from our deepest wound—the way the pain and trying to manage or minimize it might be knocking you off your true love + grind. 

How can a comet-asteroid help us with a fuckin’ SOUL-LEVEL wound? >  WELP, by helping you (a) recognize a wound is actually there, and (b) that everyone has this wound (in different places), and that (c) this wound never heals, but by our Chiron Return (age 50ish), we have an opportunity to make beautiful purpose + medicine from the pain. 🕊✨

Barbara Hand Clow’s Chiron + Kundalini Rising have tables that show you where your Chiron wounding passages will occur / have occurred, and knowing about natal Chiron (in your chart) can help you understand and learn to cope with deep wounds (yay). 

But even without knowing the astrology, when Chiron returns, circumstances arise helping / forcing us to confront that dross, so we can (hopefully) move into our Renaissance Decade 🌟> a personal era of healing catharsis, creative fellowship, and enthusiastic sharing one’s true gifts and talents. (Read more about Chiron and the Renaissance Decade here.) 

And if the barista was born the year I suspect (+ also at the birth time I’ve guess-timated), then his Gemini-Ascendant ♊️totally would be feelin’ up on my Chiron, and thank his lucky stars, because it’s also humping my Point of Destiny in my Eighth House, so his personal Renaissance is about to become my personal sex business (lol jk he threatened me + won’t apologize ☺️✨).

I’ll be digging into Chiron (natal, transit, synastry) SOON, but for now, I think this asteroid on my Vertex is what’s beckoning. 🌺

also, more about black moon lilith (b.m.l.) in the natal chart, for judging strangers ✨ >

Lilith in a natal chart is our most resented and resentful astro-erogenous zone 💕✨> Lilith (BML) represents our “taboo,” and Lilith contacts in synastry charges a relationship with broody erotic obsessiveness—hankering for the same kind of relief as when you make it to the bathroom in time, but felt with your genitals. 🐯

“In a man’s chart, Lilith represents how he deals with female power. Some sources have suggested that his Lilith describes the type of woman (by sign and planetary aspects) that he fears and desires the most. I would say that his Lilith shows the type of woman who makes him intensely uncomfortable, and how he deals with that is a reflection of how he handles power dynamics with the opposite sex.”

(Source)

Lilith attractions don’t necessarily become relationships, and if they do, the relationships aren’t necessarily long term or emotional or significant (read as: prime for “domestic harmony”, see Arroyo 🌙).

HOWEVER, Lilith in synastry might explain a sense of inappropriate or “doomed” attraction or you feel towards someone, even just an acquaintance, and even according to potentially skewed-inaccurate birth data.

SO, I have communicated how much I appreciate his Lilith (+ my own upon his Saturn), but reading about someone else’s natal Lilith should immediately qualify as stalking, particularly if the Lilith-person is being judged for it. ✨

Because I’ve basically used the scratch on his (hypothetical) Black Moon Lilith to deduce why the barista seems compelled, but totally avoidant of me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

“BML can sexualize whatever it touches. It is intimately connected to the archetype of ‘the femme fatale,’ and men with BML prominent may be attracted to relationships which cause them to give up their power and surrender to the feminine. They may also be terrified of doing such a thing, and avoid women altogether. Or they may like being surrounded by very powerful women (or a combination of all these things).”

(Source)

If your Lilith is strong (emphasized in your chart, such as the barista ✨), and you haven’t woke to her yet, then you might project all your Lilith power (+ angst) onto people around you—oftentimes onto women with strong placements in the same Sign as your (denied, taboo, unnoticed) Lilith. 🤯

SO, having natal Lilith in Pisces ♓️in his Tenth House of Career + Reputation, close-at-hand to his MC with a couple goddess asteroids as well as his hypothetical Sun strewn about ( 😳) > indicates the barista might tend to capitulate towards passive-aggressive women (Lilith in ♓️and the Tenth House, ruled by Saturn / ♑️), and is more comfortable incorporating my clumsy fascination into a public performance as part of his own heroic work narrative to soothe the feminine angst and resentment around him that he already tends to stay hyper-vigilent of…

…even while rebuffing the new, cute attention he (unconsciously) craves and vies for (based on current midlife transits)? 😤🤮

WHOA BITCH ✋🏻, how do you even know your attraction is reciprocal, since he hasn’t confirmed if he also noticed any natural phenomena on your face on Eclipse Day? 🤔> because one afternoon I walked into the cafe when he was alone behind the espresso bar, and as I approached the register, he hovered in one spot (he moves erratically a lot) and smiled all the way to his eyes which got bedroomy and hazy with pinkish light while reminding me he can’t fucking hear me since I’ve started whispering my coffee order in a breathy Jennifer Tilly voice…

(Only because I’m being strangled by invisible angels when I go into the cafe, possibly because his Lilith is on my Mercury 👼🏻> “Lilith conjunct Mercury synastry aspect means that one person typically feels shame about how the other partner thinks or communicates,” see more here.)

Anyway > I leaned forward like I was going to start climbing onto him, and he squared up as though to suggest “Ya, do it!”, but a couple moments later the L.O.T.R.-Elf lookin’ femme-barista came back onto the floor 🧝🏻‍♀️, and he leapt two and a half feet away towards the espresso machine. 🙄

And as I was walking out the exit, I realized… maybe he was only luring me in exactly so the other barista 🧝🏻‍♀️would find it? 🙈😔

So that she might report back to the other baby-baristas and reinforce the janky barista’s heroic work narrative and public performance?

…at least that’s the vibe I get upon first entering the cafe when the other baby-baristas sly-eye-smile at each other like a geisha girl gang, sending each another telepathic inside jokes about the horny-housewife-psychopath that just entered their midst. ✨ ✨ ✨

via GIPHY

FULL CONFESSION > I don’t hate a strong Lilith placement, not on anyone. 💕

Unfortunately…

I may be aloof AF (Venus in Aquarius ♒️, holla 🎉)…

But I am not passive aggressive, or validation-seeking, in deploying my feminine wiles.

Like—I won’t be able to help him further or more deeply repress his Lilith, especially not with my Mercury conjunct her, whispering dirty jokes and gossip about other people in the room (for some reason I’m picturing our Mercury-Lilith as two of the evil trick-or-treaters from Nightmare Before Christmas… confusing, but I don’t hate it 🤔😍)

I guess, from my interpretation, I don’t express Lilith-angst in the style or direction he’s sensitive to? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Like—literally, the only Lilith-angst he’s ever seen on my face is a delicate, anxious expression as I struggle not to ask, “Excuse me, could you help me parallel park my car…?”

(Or some other sex trap. 🎉)

Thx astrology, for once again deepening my self-understanding! 🧘🏻‍♀️

Anyway, according to the (janky) synastry report I’ve just delivered > this is a Lilith-driven attraction, with our Lilith-Saturn and Lilith-Mercury linkages luring us (or each other) towards the edge of our private boundary issues.

And I think the barista feels the attraction, and might be hella spooked, and is basically “Lilithing” out.

here's why transiting lilith, in the sky right now, is about to shake it up…

Ceres and Lilith are currently conjunct in Gemini ♊️ (read more here), meaning that for the barista ✨> Lilith-Ceres are moving over his First House of Identity, Persona, + Appearance, so he might be considering trade-offs between what is provisional, but solid (like Ceres) and what is taboo, but true (like Lilith). 

For me, Ceres and Lilith are moving through my Eighth House of Sex, Death, and Estate Planning (cute), so the vibes I’m getting is as though I’m taking a longview on a weekend getaway with both my BFF and closest frenemy, both of whom I want to seduce without the other’s knowledge—an expectation guaranteed to get my feelings hurt and mean I’ll end up Ubering home alone.

(Read more about Ceres-Lilith in Gemini here, and visualize the Houses aligned with Gemini on your chart to guess-timate the influence in your own weird life. ✨)

I’m interpreting any and all Eighth House transits as prep work for my Pluto Square (IT’S COMING > see more), and other midlife transits (more about these in a future post, revisit Kundalini Rising in the meantime ✌🏻). 

SO > for the barista, I am the TABOO!

But, I guess, not like… FUN taboo? 💁🏻‍♀️

Healing taboo.

That’s cool, I guess.

SYNASTRY TRIVIA + RESOURCES…

…(FOR IMPROVING / CORRECTING WHAT I’VE JUST TAUGHT YOU ☺️)

Like I said, synastry is basically reading a natal chart x 2, plus adding them up together, and it takes hella days to process + synthesize, or basically, fit together into a useful, meaningful whole.

At least for me, a strong challenger of interpersonal relating, in general. ☺️

It’s basically like asking me to paint a picture of a mathematical concept that I might have seen a documentary about, but like—what, what IS relating, tho…? 🤔😳

SO, here are more hints, clues, and resources for helping you make sense of your synastry chart!

💖 Mystic’s 3 core factors in Love + Relationship astrology > 1. Natal chart energy (placements), 2. Timing (transits), 3. Compatibility (aspects).✨

💖 Houses in Synastry > where to look up the significance of your “relationship houses” in a synastry chart, and also, types of relationship based on House (if you’re canvassing your whole synastry chart, and notice most of the planet play isn’t happening in any relationship houses 😬—starts with the 4th-9th Houses)

💖 Elements in synastry > an intro-tutorial on elemental compatibility in synastry, a “score guide to  “synastry points” 🤣, and this might be totally random, but I love it > Are You Attracted to the Element You Lack? ( 🙋🏻‍♀️🜁 )

💖ALSO, descriptions of the Eighth House + sex style, and descriptions of Signs, Planets, + the psycho-sexuality of the Eighth House. Barista + I have complementary elements on the Eighth House (Taurus-Capricorn), and I don’t hate that his Mars is at an anarectic degree here (mounting tension…?). 💁🏻‍♀️💫

💖Studying your Moons? > the Moon in the Signs + Houses, and this blog has a great database on Moon aspects in synastry. (Psst—this Synastry Q&A is where I got the cute little insight about Mars-Moon oppositions, holla 😉🎉)

💖Descriptions for all the planets in synastry, to cover all the variables in your chart.

💖Because both my ex-husband + mine’s Chirons were activated by the 2011 Gemini Eclipse, as well as my Chiron getting co-triggered by this year’s Eclipse > Chiron in Synastry! Also, all the other asteroids in synastry, including Lilith. 🐍

💖Must-read series if your own Eclipse Story with the Lunar Nodes or Destiny Point is unfolding > The Vertex versus the Nodes in Synastry, and if you want to deep-dive > check out this Plutonic Desire article, which walks you through the frustrations + usefulness found in certain Nodal aspects in synastry 🌗

💖For your self-efficacy ✨> The Astrology of Relationships: Chemistry versus Compatibility, PLUS Five Common Misconceptions in Synastry, and Five Things Astrologers Look for in Relationship Compatibility.

💖ALSO > Red flags in synastry. 😳🚩

💖ALSO, the other ways of doing relationship astrology > composite charts + the Davison method, PLUS, how to find the “theme” of your relationship in a synastry or composite chart.

💖Outer Planets contacts in synastry, part 1 > Pluto + Uranus might play out in the barista + mine’s thing, and I love that about us. 💕(Also check out this article for specific aspects between Outer + Personal Planets, and the type of influence they bear on the relationship, plus this article about Outer Planet contacts on the angles.)

💖Read Mystic delineate (“break down” or deconstruct) the astrology of one of Aubrey Hepburn’s love affairs, and basically explain Outer Planets in synastry. 💕

💖Okay, there’s a possibility, because of the Eclipse trippin’ his Node, I might be the barista’s “Destiny Muse,” exacerbated by the astro-fact that I am an Outer Planet person. 😳> “If you were to run first-meeting charts for every significant person in your life, especially those who changed the course of it, you’d find Moon’s Node Destiny Muse aspects all over it. There would be strong synastry between your Nodes and at the time of the initial encounter. And, there would be an element of synchronicity to that meeting. You followed a hunch. They missed a plane. If it were ten minutes later, they would not have been there.”

💖OMG, Neptunian suffering in synastry 😳> "I have to admit that in all my years of doing synastries, I’ve seen Neptune cause the most outright suffering. Now, this could be because of resonance. I believe we attract clients whose issues match our knowledge and experience. So I attract more Neptune-oriented folks than most. Neptune has a dangerous proclivity to urge us to lose ourselves in a well of grief for the unattainable, making life itself seem futile. I don’t know what’s worse, having the dream and then losing it, or having the dream of a dream." (Source)

💖MORE SPECIAL READING ABOUT NEPTUNE > an astrological point of view on codependency (I just shuddered), starring Neptune > “The Neptune/Pisces individual’s sense of boundaries tend to be rather fluid. Since we feel the emotions of others, we tend to think that others do the same. It is often a shock for us to realize that most people do not. It is as hard for us to fathom that notion as it is for others to understand that there are people that have Neptunian abilities. Clinicians call Neptunian emotional fluidity “hyperawareness of other’s emotions” and considers this a symptom of codependency.”

💖Juno, the “wife” or consort asteroid, which kind of fascinates me? (Maybe bc barista’s Chiron is near-conjunct Juno…? Someone help me read deeper into this…!)

💖Want more insight about NATAL Mars? > this Mystic post deep-dives in Mars aspects, and here’s intel on Mars-Saturn and the Male Psyche... part ONE! ✅

💖Some hints > Magnetism and Sex Appeal in the Birth Chart, also, sex style according to Mars, Lilith, + Eros placements, plus the chart signatures of sex addicts. 💁🏻‍♀️

💖Also, this isn’t our case (my “skipped step” would be Moon-Neptune/Capricorn ♑️ vibes), but it’s hella fascinating > “It’s always tricky when a romantic partner triggers your skipped step. There is a powerful draw, with an equally powerful frustration, or even repulsion. The details of your unresolved story can be found in the house positions of the skipped step planet and the North and South Nodes. Your skipped step partner is more than just a painful reminder of your past life failings; they are your key to evolving in this life. But as always, it’s up to you and your partner, if you want to work through the story together and start a new chapter. Or, you may decide to leave this one for the next life.” Read more and find out about your “skipped step” in synastry. 😉✨

💖 Great, and where should I look for astro-insight on my intimacy issues? 🤔> “The second/eighth house polarity becomes vastly important in synastry, because without an easy flow between these houses we are incapable of the kind of intimacy that sustains relationship. The secret of Pluto, and the gift of most successful long-term relationships, is that they have the ability to continually renew themselves.” (Source)

💖 What else can you look for in a synastry chart? > this Plutonic Desire database shows you what to look for, including the Darakaraka (personal planet at the lowest degree in the chart about “the spouse,” still super fun 👍🏻 )

💖 Interpreting long term vs short term relationships depends on reading for PROGRESSIONS, which I know nothing about, and basically means everything I’ve just taught you is useless > “The truth is that you can see the advent of a significant relationship, but this can only be done by a proper reading of progressions. The progressed chart is the only way we know if something serious is occurring between two people, and it will show up in both charts. Progressions signify long-term development and significant times/events, and a number of things need to be in place for an important relationship to show itself. Progressions show our readiness for a relationship to enter our lives, a time where we are ripe to join with another. We like to think that we’re ready for a serious relationship all the time, but the truth is that we aren’t. A lot of times, we’re meant to go it alone for a while.” (Source) 

💖 Finally, don’t forget your deceptively-simple-but-super-handy, synastry chart worksheet…! 🤩

Free Synastry Chart Worksheet

💕✨

Free Synastry Chart Worksheet 💕✨

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as you await for me to live, research, and churn out these articles, here is my amateur interpretation of mine + the barista’s (hypothetical) synastry…

I am the Doom-Lilith on his inner Patriarch 🐍, our Moons 🌙 are cloying but unstable, our Ascendents are straddled by each other’s Destiny Points 🌀, and I remember nothing about the hypothetical compatibility of our aesthetic preferences ⚤, except that my Mars wants to storm his Moon, and to the tempo of an Octavio Paz poem. 💕✨

but where does the story go from here…?

IDK, DUDE! Because this obviously isn’t just my Eclipse Story…

But here’s what the (maybe pretend ✨) synastry has revealed > this is a LILITH-driven attraction, her taboo rising to the semi-surface between us after the Eclipse tripped my Vertex-Chiron and possibly lit upon the barista’s South Node, when the barista is astrologically on-ramping for his Chiron Return (I’m approximating 2024)...

Even without knowing the astrology, he might be feelin’ a little pained and pressured by larger extenuating circumstances in his broader life, all colluding to de-stabilize his inner rhythm, making it feel extra important to totally avoid (or holler about 💁🏻‍♀️) my weird, shy attention on him at work…

...because HOW CAN HE EVEN DO ANYTHING without betraying his persona, embarrassing his scruples, eating crow, and without having to change his usual approach and rules of engagement?!

...all of which are there to specifically protect his deepest insecurities (Saturn) as well as his nougat-y, tender soul-wound (Chiron)? 🧁

IN WHICH CASE > yes, my deranged Lilith 🐍might be siren-calling him into the path of Chironic healing just in time to unleash his Renaissance Decade... 💫

BUT ALSO, as he inches toward the call (not that he will actually heed it 💥), the wound referred to by his Chiron is probably being picked at by his inner demons as they turn their attention onto everything that isn’t “working” in our brief, erratic, but somatically intense encounters in the coffee shop…

Which means that I am basically a lightening rod, bringing the barista’s repressed issues more into the light (related to his achey Chiron), every time I enter. 🙈

Because… DOES HE EVEN KNOW ABOUT ECLIPSES OR CHIRON RETURNING OR THAT LILITH IS RUNNING HIS SHIT??? 🙀

And the only way he could find out would be if I ambushed him alone while he’s making a wellness check on his little dog, maybe leaping out from the trunk of his sedan and screaming, “ECLIPSES, FUCKER!” 🌗👻

Idk what I’d do after that, though.

also—our progressions are interfering with the astro-potential (as much as our dilapidated psyches 👁)…

“Progressions” are a predictive tool in astrology, where the chart is “sped up” in time.

And I was tricked into learning them (and recasting the barista and mine’s still hypothetical synastry), because all the astrologers were suggesting I’d do just that to find out answers about what’s happening (or not happening, or basically just unfolding in an slow, alienating way) in real time…

And what has been revealed feels like stumbling by accident upon the final clue to a mystery game that everyone else already gave up on hours ago and instead went to watch Great British Baking Show (that’s fine).

BASICALLY > I learned something about the barista’s progressed Moon that sympathized me to a (potential) emotional condition that seems accurate (from a hovering bystander’s point of view), and which harmonizes much of the bizarre synastry data I’ve sputtered out for you here. 💞

My Lilith will definitely get rough ‘n tumble on his Moon-goo, though it might also be soothed over by my horny Chiron and its erotic fascination with Uranus in his eyes (mebbe). ☺️✨

Our Progressed Synastry basically explains why the Eclipse only triggered this whole process—whatever this process is…. whatever this wonderful miracle becomes. 💩

And we’re just going to have to keep studying astrology apps and following the Internet witches advice for a little while longer, until the Eclipse set closes out (December 2021 ✨) or until I find a babysitter.

also, thanks for your saint-like patience as i research, learn, and experiment with deploying all the astro-lore…

Do you love the idea that I’m psychoanalyzing this person, watching him trying to steam milk and banter with his coworkers, pretending to not be fine-tune focused on my dead-fish eyes staring over my phone, where I am hyper-comparing everything he says to what’s suggested in my Time Passages app, and like, the whole room of people seem aware of the current of energy between us, and I truly hope someone glances at my phone and guesses what’s up and calls me out, it would be such a relief. 👍🏻

Stay tuned. ✨

Also… this is very important…

Somebody should probably re-read this tutorial, and let me know if I’m doing this right? 😳😬😅

p.s. enticed by this... whatever it is? >

If you’d like to follow along as I continue stalking baristas via synastry, subscribe to my newsletter, where you get the whole secret scoop as fast as I manage to hyper-research + type it up.

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