All Hail the Cosmic Queen: My Go-To Astrologers, Star Witches, and Cosmic Alchemists
“I know that I am mortal, the creature of one day. But when I explore the winding course of the stars I no longer touch with my feet the earth: I am standing near Zeus himself, drinking my fill of Ambrosia, the food of the gods.”
That’s… literally how I feel about Internet astrologers. 💖
Allow me to point you to the stargazers, astro-mages, and cosmic alchemists I turn to for astrological debriefings, as well as to my fav free or must-try resources, articles, tools, and products!
RACHEL @ AEOLIAN HEART ASTROLOGY.
Rachel is a sylph. 🧚🏻♀️
Rather, a Hermetic astrologer, cosmic mythologist, and angelic culture vulture. Ethereal, empathic, aesthete, Rachel picks out the High Art in the stars, and thrills me, only me, by captioning her celestial debriefings with classic rock lyrics and Romantic-era quotes, and analogizing transits with 20th century foreign films in her horoscopic newsletters.
Rachel also co-wrote Pluto In Scorpio: The Millennial Generation, which for me, was the equivalent of that book Sebastian stole at the beginning of The NeverEnding Story, except crossed-over with the Burn Book from Mean Girls. Because, Pluto. ☢️
Also, as far as weaving astrology into the mundane: I am still using the grimoire I put together during the 2018 run of DISCOVERY: her flagship program that teaches you to read your own natal chart, and also how to weave hermetic ritual magic and personal intention into astro transits. ✨
I reference that grimoire all over HellaNamaste, along with notes from Rachels’ other workshops for celebrating and instructing on planetary transits, all of which you can find out about (and score VIP pricing) by subscribing to her newsletter, because that’s how they work…. obvs…
Also, this might be the most important bit: I am obsessed with the weekly astro report podcast, secret and totally exclusive (my words) for Rachel’s Patreon supporters.
Just letting you know. Don’t be jels.
Or just sign up, it’s super easy. 👍🏻
“THE MYSTIC” @ MYSTIC MEDUSA.
My fantasy is that the Mystic is an Aussie Lisbeth Salandar, but instead of razing down misogyny with hackerz skillz, she’s focused on astrology… and coding skillz.
Mystic is an elite member of my fantasy girl gang, my astro squad, and even in those fantasies, she’s just a voice I obey while armed and looking cute, we’re basically like Charlie’s Angels.
This was my last binge. The Mystic Medusa shop includes astro-products such as The Astrological Guide to Divorce and a MEGA membership forum, hosting the most insane amount of astro-calendrical-encyclopedic content.
Like—this is my orgy. 🤤 Brb… at some point…
MIRIAM @ FUGITIVE UMBRELLAS.
“The reason astrology is so popular now is because it’s a chisel that helps us chip away at the layers of rusted paternalism that keep us from moving toward a progressive future in which everyone is legitimate, everyone matters, and everyone — regardless of the results of the genetic and socioeconomic lottery — is valid, and not so much despite race, gender, class, etc., but regardless of it. And it’s just one tool in the box, but it’s there, and anyone can use it.”
Miriam is my astrological Kathleen Hanna. 👯♀️💖
That’s what’s up.
That’s ^^^ excerpted from this post about learning to read astrology charts, and you should also read Miriam’s take on Karencraft and the Karen-ization of Astrology, you’re welcome forever ✨✨✨
NIC @ DARK PIXIE ASTROLOGY.
You’ve been waiting for astrology homework! 🙌🏻
If you learn best through DIY, subscribe to the Dark Pixie newsletter to score free monthly worksheets for all the planetary transits, all with prompts to help you figure out what’s happening specifically to you. There’s also a packed shop of self-study horoscope workshops, and she also provides a huge, free tutorial library for astrology students, researchers, lurkers, and whatever else you might be.
Most recommended >>> the Soul Astrology Masterclass, deep diving into Lilith, the Lunar Nodes, Chiron, and everything you’d want to know astrologically for an intensive introspective healing weekend. ✊🏻🌿
Also check out Nic’s Astrology 2021 class! 12 workbooks for tracking and moon-manifesting all next year, enrollment happening now! (DO IT—IT’S HAPPENING NOW! 🙀)
HALEY SMITH @ ASTROLOGY FOR COLLECTIVE LIBERATION.
For big, metaphysical questions about personal pain, you want an astrologer with a mature lens on astrology, who is able to show up for a vulnerable conversation, and able to parse out all the injustice (micro and macro) that go into our wounding.
That’s why I loved Haley’s guide to Chiron in Aries. 💕
Chiron is one of those markers where a-ha moments abound, but isn’t the cutest astro-related thing to discuss with your babes. 😳 Because of this guide, I recommended Haley to a friend IRL who had just nosed her way onto the super-woo path, and I knew was inspired by mega-past wounding.
Heads up—Haley is pretty quiet (read as: private) online, but you can sign up for email updates, and sometimes she throws together a new moon playlist. 🤘🏻
BESS @ THE STAR PARLOR.
Bess Massera, co-editor and author of the Sensual Exploration column @ The Numinous, basically writes zodiac-themed erotica for the senses. 👄💫
Every Bess article reads like the dossier of an astrologically-inspired It Girl, and I desperately want to be invited to her slumber party. If this were Mean Girls, I would be the creepy goth loner at my after school job waiting for Bess to come and tell me the hot goss on Regina King, or whichever sign Venus is transiting.
This might literally be all of my real-life female friendships. 🤔
You can find Bess in almost all the Astro stuff @ The Numinous, but also check out her on-point, astro-inspired Spotify playlists, addictive Instagram, and other astro-inspired columns she pens around the web. 🤩
KIMBERLY @ STARSIGNSTYLE.COM.
Kimberly writes zodiac-inspired fashion, style, and beauty tips, and reports on astro-trends from Shanghai. This article changed everything >>> have you seen me in turquoise?!
Want an astrological decoding on your flirt and fashion style? How to get started: Pull out your natal chart (Kimberly gives instructions over here), and look for this symbol: ♀ What’s the sign on the outer rim?
Now, head over to this page, and click on your Venus sign. You’re so welcome. ❤️✨
THE ASTRO TWINS @ ASTROSTYLE.COM.
The AstroTwins are cool. Like—the way your older sister or cousin and their high school friends were cool, and you obsessed, and hid from them in your room while they giggled outside the door, smelling of cotton candy body spray, and calling to you companionably, “Dude, stop being shy, come hang out with us!” Half-chewing on the cord of a 25 cent alien-head shaped necklace that you still covet even in the memory.
The AstroTwins just know about cool: what is cool, how is cool, and who. The AstroTwins (actual twin sisters) write magazine-style astro-inspiration for real-world conversations that make you sound super insightful and also, cool. This is SFW astrology, where you can find the astro articles to forward to your sisters-in-law, nail tech, and the new friend you’re still vetting at Mommy and Me.
P.S. SFW (safe for work) also means “it makes my weird interests look like well-informed whimsy to other adults.”
(Unrelated: don’t mention lizard people at mommy meet-ups, not even as a joke. You won’t come back from it. 💩)
I love the AstroTwins because they write the best reference articles (they’re just so good at explaining astrology), they introduce me to so many new astrologers and cool astro-related goodies, and they also have a robust mailing list that spits out a free, automated astro-relationship compatibility guide for every sign-up! 🤩
HONORABLE MENTIONS >
Lynn Hayes for astro-cartography and rapid transit insights ✨Natalie @ Soul Shine Astrology for career + vocational astrological advice, plus great podcast episodes for learning astrology (check out the one on Jupiter Cycles + planning your life around the astrological Houses) ✨Dark Star Astrology > Get your fixed star fix! I love (+ need) forecasts that teach the astrology they're forecasting, and also, an aesthetic experience (that is also retailed via cute swag ), most recommended > Dark Goddess and Pluto library, and her library all about fixed stars in astrology 🙏🏻
So, who is helping you stargaze online…?
Collages by the INCREDIBLE Eugenia Loli! Check out her portfolio here & follow her collage board on Pinterest!
